How to Overcome Shattered Expectations
Updated: Apr 10
One of the most frustrating and discouraging situations in life is to have high expectations about something, whether it is marraige, raising children, business, relationships, a job, or life it's self and the outcome is the opposite of what you had hoped. It's almost like a child being disappointed at Christmas, when they didn't get the bike or the toy they'd imagined or dreamed of.
Much to our disappointment....sometimes this is the way life happens.....And if you are not careful, going into life situations and transitions with too high of hopes and unrealistic expectations can leave you shattered....crushed and ultimately suffering from feelings of disappointment and defeat when the unexpected happens. If you are unable to shake yourself....it can be hard to rebound from the discouragement and feelings of hopelessness and defeat. Discouragement will begin to surely set in.
When working with clients, I often share insight on the importance of placing expectations in the middle. It is important not to set them too high.....and even more important not to set them too low. If you set your expectations too low.... you’re likely to attract the energy you put in. And if you set them too high....and your expectations are not met, you're likely to become frustrated, disappointed, or even discouraged to the point of wanting to give up.
WHEN YOU SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS IN THE MIDDLE; YOUR MIND BECOMES OPEN TO ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES.
Here are 5 ways to overcome shattered expectations:
1. Get back in the ring! Resist the temptation to give up. I get it, shattered expectations are hard to get over. But if you give up now, you will only be giving in to more disappointment, and it will become more difficult to recover because you will likely feel down on yourself for quitting.
2. Start where you are. Acknowledge the hurt, the pain, the feeling of failure or whatever emotions you maybe experiencing at the time. Ignoring your feelings only suppresses them and delays healing.
3. Move forward....Moving forward is the most rewarding action you can take. Moving forward can get you closer to the desired outcome by making small steps towards progress.
4. Look for the lessons. Life is a teacher. There are often lessons that we can learn to build us, give us wisdom and make us stronger.
5. Keep an open mind....An open mind gives us the ability to accept what is.....and discern what isn't. With an open mind, we are most likely to find the lesson in each situation that helps us to better cope.